Rape Culture in the US


Find any large group of women in America and ask them to raise their hand if they have never been the victim of molestation, sexual assault or rape and very few hands are going to go up. Then ask them if they reported it. Maybe one hand goes up. But telling didn’t do any good because nothing happened. But more than likely they never told anyone except a girlfriend or a therapist about it because that is the culturally acceptable thing to do. God forbid you bring it up later because one of the criminals that touched your body is about to become one of the most powerful people on Earth. Girls can’t remember what happened to them, they are making it up for political gain (because who doesn’t want to look like a victim on the world stage?!) and boys will be boys and don’t mean to hurt they just have hormones. Unless you are a boy of course. If you were molested by a priest decades ago then by all means bring it up now, the media, the general public and the justice system believes that men remember the crimes against them, are totally believable and they get millions for their troubles. Even if they weren’t raped. Even if they were just groped, terrified and silenced. So to be clear Catholic boy gets groped by a priest, tells 30 years later and gets millions of dollars and public sympathy and outrage. He has no proof or photos or “evidence”. Same thing happens to a girl except the perp isn’t a priest and she has risked her career to do it and is not seeking financial gain and she is not offered public sympathy, assumed to be lying and gets death threats for her audacity. The boys should get sympathy and money and whatever they need to make things right for them but so should every little girl and grown woman. It should empower and not destroy to speak out against an assailant.

When we know better we should do better but it is still not the case. We hide sex crimes. We don’t report sex crimes. We don’t call the parents of the kid who grabs our kids butt in the hallway in the 7th grade and say “talk to your son about sexual assault.” We don’t have rape kits at high schools. We don’t say ‘lying about where you are going and drinking some beer is not a crime, sexual assault is, tell your parents right away’ to every teen in America. We don’t teach boys the buddy system and to watch their drunk friends for bad behavior. We don’t teach people to drink responsibly. We don’t do everything in our power to shut down rape culture once and for all. We need to start now. Until that happens, gender equality in this country is a pipe dream.

Fighting for what?

This week the school district decided not to pay us for the three days we were stuck at home during the hurricane. Never mind that our school was an evacuation shelter. Never mind that we still had to complete our PDPs and hours of online training about title 9 and harassment and pathogens while we were home. Never mind that we are salaried employees that regularly work tons of overtime. For example, on our way out the door to evacuate we were reminded to prep for parent curriculum night on the day of our return. It was suggested that we make our own copies at home and have a bowl of mints for parents. Curriculum night Day is a 14 hour work day. I’d say that counts as overtime. We fought back HARD and in the end we won. But it was exhausting and demoralizing. Not as much as a ten percent pay loss would have been but still another emotional drain from an empty well. Teachers are not respected in this country. It’s like rape culture, it’s a deeply imbedded mind set. A deep cultural shift will need to take place before it changes. What will happen when no one chooses to teach any more because it doesn’t happen soon enough?

In other news Momo has taken to guarding the flock of babies. Even in the nigh. Bless him. Who says you can teach us new tricks!

Get off my lawn!

Yes, I am a Frizzle. Why do you ask? You know those people who start to look like their pets…..

LieLie’s school group baked a savannah cake and then photo shopped themselves onto the biome. God help any roaming creatures that had to live with that crew.

Plus baseball. Finn is catching these days.


Cozy Florence

The wind is blowing, it is raining and everyone wants to be held at once because of the storm. So we are eating popcorn (everyone but the cat that is) and watching Steel Magnolias and being thankful. We are in our own home with power, plenty of food, each other and hands to hold. So many around us can’t say the same. The flood sirens keep going off and my town has lost power for the most part but my hood is totally fine. Praying big prayers for the trapped and the homeless and the traveling. Many people out there don’t know what they are going home to yet. They are stuck far from home and the roads are still closed behind them with empty pumps lining the way and that is a terrible feeling. Florence needs to get the heck out of here and we need to heed her lesson about global warming and the effect of warm water on storms.

Hurricane Florence

This is the calm before the storm. Glassy water. Quiet water fowl floating by. Momo living his best life as if a 500 mile wide sharknado isn’t gunning for him. Kids on tubes soaking up the very last sun rays we will see for a week. Florence is coming straight for us and global warming has made her a real pain in the ……eye.


Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any nuttier I came home to this.

Those chickens and those tails came in the mail at some point. God Bless the internet and the imaginations of children born in the age of Amazon. The world is their oyster for five allowance dollars per week.

Circle of life

My flower girl, someone I used to read to sleep at night had a tiny baby last week. That makes one of my best friends a grandmother for the first time. I asked her if it felt like holding your own baby and she said “no, it feels like holding your grandchild.” You know when you get there. Baby Eli was just perfect and getting to see the whole family in Charleston over Labor Day wasn’t too shabby either.

We saw a sign for a UFO on the way there but we didn’t stop because ……. cornfields…

On the home front there was Friday night lights (photo credit to Regina Whitesides) and rapid chicken growth. It won’t be long before they can move out of the brooder and into Finn’s coop!

Cardi C has extra toes like a Hemingway Cat. Apparently that is a thing in some breeds of show chickens. She is literally the most EXTRA chicken that was ever born. She IS the state fair. Her momma said. Toto is looking an awful lot like the dearly departed Biscuit.